When Bhai Vir Singh went to Kashmir, he wrote a book full of poems about it. Bhai Vir Singh is a high standard; from me, you can expect at least one blogpost.

There is something about Kashmir and its people that’s truly spellbinding – from the overall surroundings there to the sweet language they have, to their slant-roofed houses.

Our stay in Kashmir was at the house of an acquaintance. We were a team of 15, including one toddler. The family who hosted us and had this massive and beautiful house with cherry trees and a farm of its own, provided us with two halls, one each for gents and ladies.

One of the most memorable times at Kashmir was the time of Rehraas Sahib, a sudden memory of which gave me the idea of this blogpost, especially its title: “rest that is not sleep”.

We reached their house around evening and it was already time for Rehraas. We perched on the carpeted floor in a circle, sort of, some of us leaning against walls, some slightly bending forwards, some with phones in hands. Some had blankets spread on laps as it was cold, though the month was of June.

And comfort pervaded all around. All the chaos in the world came to a rest as we all recited one couplet each, turn by turn. It was a kind of rest, a kind of comfort unheard of, unspoken of, unknown of.

And this rest, this comfort, unlike most rests and comforts, didn’t put me to sleep. In my room back in Ludhiana, when I am too comfortable, when there is a pillow to support my back and I have no pressing works, I start feeling sleepy, and my limbs feel a new kind of ache – while it’s still a feeling of comfort.

But here, this comfort was different – it didn’t put me to sleep. My eyes wide open, observing everything from that little speck of dust under the curtain, to that grain of biscuit someone dropped unknowingly, to that toe of the toddler that was so immature and innocent – I observed everything, being very much alive and full of sense – more sense of myself than I had ever – and I savoured this comfort for the entire 50 minute period (including the discussion on our favourite quotes from Rehraas).

A similar experience ensued in Ludhiana once, and this time again, I was doing Rehraas; with this three-years-younger friend from Anandpur Sahib, on Zoom, while the door to my room was barred with no movement outside. A harmonium lay next to me which I had just played for “Har jug jug bhagat upaaya…”. At the end of Rehraas, this friend and I (while our videos were on), pumped our fists and punched the air high above while shouting the traditional warcries, “Bole so nihaal … sat sri akaal” and “deg teg fateh, panth ki jeet”. He began to laugh in some kind of ecstasy, followed by me laughing at his laughter.

That was a different kind of comfort too.

Kashmir or Ludhiana, you can have rest that is not sleep, provided some factors are met – factors I am trying to figure out, factors that are nevertheless not in my control.

In an open group discussion today, the topic steered to the question of rituals, whether rituals are good or bad, and one of the senior members came up with this beautiful equation:

Spirit + Ritual = Spiritual

This post is a result of a burst of overjoy at the idea of both this equation and the clarity of this wooly concept.

As for myself, I have usually seen the word “ritual” in a negative light – something that always involves blind faith and ignorance, and as something that should be avoided and resisted whenever possible.

But today I am reconsidering this – are “rituals” really bad?

Or – let’s ask a completely different question: are all rituals bad?

Ritual – that’s a ceremony or an action that is done according to some prescribed order, following rules that are pre-made. These rituals might be social, cultural, religious, political – or even personal. Marriage is a social, cultural as well as a religious ritual. Celebration of a festival might be cultural or religious. An oath-taking ceremony – or the famous “halwa ceremony” in the Indian Parliament – are political rituals.

And then there are personal rituals. For a long time, I wrote a daily diary regularly without fail – that was a personal ritual. Waking up at a certain time in the morning is part of our daily ritual. Brushing your teeth, going to school or work, reading some pages of a book every night – all are personal rituals.

Call it a habit or a ritual – the spirit remains the same. Habits practiced by a larger group are rituals and rituals practiced by an individual are habits.

Flip the word and your perception of the idea suddenly changes: to me, ritual always carried this negative vibe, while habit sounds quite healthy!

Clearly, rituals also come in two varieties: there are healthy and unhealthy rituals.

A festival is a healthy ritual if it does more good than bad: if it strengthens the social fabric, it’s a healthy ritual; if it spreads pollution or encourages extravagance, it might be unhealthy.

And finally, there are spiritual rituals. In the recent times, a surge was seen in the idea of mindfulness, and many YouTubers and writers spoke on this. Influenced, many people added in their “daily rituals” a 10- or a 15-minute slot for mindfulness. Unmistakably, it’s a healthy ritual – for it gives us time in a fast-pacing world to pause and reflect on ourselves and our world. If practiced regularly and with “spirit”, one might be spiritually awakened!

But!

But if this 10-minute period becomes a spiritless, devoid-of-purpose “ritual” – a ritual captured in inverted commas – you will become just that – captured: it will be more of an obligation than an activity to enrich you spiritually.

There seems to be a secret behind the stability in nature: sun and seasons appear to be following a ritual of returning again and again at a particular time of the day and year. Earth’s revolution around the sun and rotation around itself are rituals, pretty much. A wheel’s rotation, a body’s in-built clock, growing up and dying – all are rituals in their own right.

Nature is in order, running according to patterns - as per its own rituals.

There’s a lot of scope for exploring this subject even more, but let’s attempt to close this discussion with this: instead of asking the wrong question “Are rituals good or bad”, let’s ask the better and more thought-out question: “How much of rituals is ok?”

That, now, is a question worth a discussion!